Mental Health Indiana

From time to time, we all experience such disruptions and find that they quickly overpower our best efforts to maintain an emotional equilibrium. Unchecked, our internal  responses to such upsets can spill into our conversations, distract us from work we have to do, erode our patience, trigger arguments, and turn what seemed to be a challenging situation into a mess.

Boxing legend Mohammed Ali used to say he could "float like a butterfly and sting like a bee." Like a boxer, in order to defend ourselves against the attacks, punches and jabs that life hands us, we must maintain a base, a secure stance to allow us to roll with the punches and respond appropriately in the moment.  Once knocked off our base, nothing seems easy, we can get confused, and irritation and even fear mount fast.

What is your base - the foundation from which you can keep your internal sense of balance, where you can respond to adversity without being knocked down?

Some will say their base is self-confidence, their internal assurance that they know what they are doing and can handle whatever comes along.  However, at times everyone gets overwhelmed.  We can't be prepared for everything.  Life will sooner or later present us with something we do not know how to handle.  What then?

I believe in the face of changes and surprises that seem overwhelming, the most secure place is the realization that we are connected with something that is larger than ourselves - and therefore larger than whatever seems to be attacking us.  That may be hard to do "in the heat of battle," and yet there is a sense of comfort and security that can be found in the internal knowledge that "I am more than this situation; I am not alone, and though I do not know now how I will deal with this, I trust that I will be able to do so." 

Finding or regaining this sense of internal security can be a challenge.  Interestingly, the response for many is to withdraw into themselves, to get quiet and isolate.  Ironically, the best response is almost always the opposite - to reach out and connect with those who can give support in a non-judgmental way.  For some the source of security may be God, or some other aspect of religion or faith, for others it may be a group of friends, for others it may be the power of nature.  Whatever it is for you, it is useful to consciously maintain a daily relationship with your base so you know exactly how to connect with it when you most need it.  

John Goll is an Indiana Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). He helps couples, families and individuals understand the patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviors that keep them from having the relationships and the successes that they desire, while working with them to mobilize their ability and power to make the choices and changes that will make a real difference in their lives. 

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