Mental Health Counseling Indianapolis Indiana

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Practical Parenting Solutions for Changing Children's Behavior
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if video does not start playing, you may have to refresh your browser An elderly woman in front of you is driving 25 miles per hour as you rush to work. How do you react? Your child spills his drink all over your newly cleaned floor. How do you react? These and many other every day situtations are enough to get some people very angry. Yet others would be unfazed or react calmly. What is the difference between these two types of people and how can the angry reactor modify his behavior? Anger is a secondary emotion that commonly masks other more vulnerable emotions. Feelings like hurt, jealousy, guilt and sadness for some are more easily expressed through anger. Even if the emotion is unstated, it is often easier to feel angry at someone than acknowledge that they hurt your feelings. The problem with anger is that it often gets out of control. If expressed too aggresively it can hurt others and damage relationships. If unexpressed and held in, it can manifest itself physcially through headaches or other somatic symptoms. Also unexpressed anger seems to feed itself and grow and at times may begin to feel like an obsession. So what should we do with our anger? Anger is a normal reaction to many events. It should be validated and recognized but in order to express it in a healthy way, it should be examined. Here are some questions to ask yourself when thinking about your anger. Is my feeling of anger proportionate to its trigger? In other words, do you get just as angry when your kids spill a drink as you do when they talk back to you? If so, you might think about what else is feeding your anger. What do you do when you are angry? Do you throw things, fume silently or attack others? Have relationships been effected by your anger? If there are negative consequences after an an anger filled event it might be worth examining the origins of your anger. What triggers my anger? Is it the little things that push you over the edge? I s there a feeling that triggers anger? For example, do you lash out when you begin to feel vulnerable or guilty. Understanding one’s tirggers is the first step in modifying behavior. How do I feel when I start to get angry? It is easier to calm down when feeling a little angry. If you can begin to notice how your body feels as you begin to get angry, you can use other techniques to calm yourself down before the anger accelerates. What works to calm me down? Pay attention to ways that have worked in the past. Some examples are listening to music, taking a walk or using humor. Anger is a common and complicated emotion. If your anger is negatively impacting important relationships in your life or you are using alcohol or drugs to calm yourself, seek professional help in examining the sources of your anger. If you decide to bring in your child for a play therapy evaluation, here is what to expect. Depending on the age of the child, I will probably ask the parents to come in without the child for the initial meeting. The exception to this is with the older teen who is well aware of why he/she is coming and whose parent is comfortable discussing the issue in front of the child. During the first meeting without the child, I will ask questions about the presenting problem as well as any precipitating factors. A family history will be taken, both of the parental relationship as well as both parents family of origin. Goals for change will be set and we will discuss how we will know goals have been achieved. Typically I will then meet alone with the child for 4 sessions. Many times during this period I may schedule one of these meetings with the whole family to do a group acitivity. This is useful to highlight any family dynamics that may be affecting the child. When alone with the child for play sessions, I will initially let the child lead the way. Toys and activities in my playroom are specially chosen to provide a "vocabulary" for children too young to express thier emotions using words. When your child leaves the session, they may talk about playing in the sand, coloring or making a collage. These are all techniques for me to get to know your child better and for them to express themselves. I prefer to not discuss the child's "progress" in front of them unless I let them know we will be doing so. This respects the child's feelings of trust about what happens in the session and it is uncomfortable for a child to be talked about in front of them. If there is anything that needs to be discussed I may ask for time alone or the parent may call before or after the session. After 4 sessions, I will meet again with parents without the child to discuss observations, recommendations and revise the goals. This pattern will continue until therapy is terminated. Work through ruts and roadblocks to achieve success in your relationships, your profession, and your life as a whole. Collaborative coaching supports clients in developing abundant joy and satisfaction in their lives. My work is focused on:Individual and Couple's CoachingMarriage and Family CounselingPersonal GrowthProfessional DevelopmentEstablishing and Cultivating Community I am currently completing an internship at the CTS Counseling Center as required for a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. My background includes graduate studies in Industrial/Organizational Psychology at IUPUI and a B.S. degree in Social Psychology from the University of Oregon. Contact me through any of the ways listed for available appointments or for screening and consultation. All the best to you. marriage and family therapy, individual consultation and coaching, pastoral psychotherapy, certified imago relationship therapist

 
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