Mental Health Counseling Indianapolis Indiana

Directory of Therapists, Counselors and Mental Health Professionals in Indianapolis and Central Indiana

Why Another Parenting or Divorce Book?
More info...
Why Another Parenting or Divorce Book?thriveafterdivorce4 min - Oct 10, 2007Are you separated or divorced?Are you a single parent worried about the divorce's impact on your children?Instead of "survive" your divorce, would you like to learn how to thrive after divorce? Visit www.ThriveAfterDivorce.com to sign up for our free ezine.More info.... (http://video.google.com/url?docid=-3352660744042978884&esrc=rss_searchfeed&ev=v&len=221&q=parenting+book&srcurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D0Xj00QLr4bw&vidurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2Fvideoplay%3Fdocid%3D-3352660744042978884%26q%3Dparenting%2Bbook&usg=AL29H21KGeGvDxInryNSpS6CG1Hi5lOdBQ) In the 35 years I have worked with clients, I've learned that our lives can change instantly. Sudden death, life threatening diagnosis, accidents, job loss, marriage, or divorce can shake us at our inner core. I also know that conflicts in relationships can be devastating and confusing. I strive to provide a safe, caring, compassionate and professional environment for you to work and find solutions. Feel free to call for a brief telephone consultation (no charge) to determine if I'm the right person to help you with your concerns. Membership: Indiana Oncology Social Workers; National Association of Social Workers. I have been working with people in the context of their families, culture and social economic status for over 17 years. To do this I provide individual and family counseling, marital therapy and pre-marital counseling as well as divorce recovery in a safe, supportive enviroment. Common concerns you may experience include: depression, anxiety, difficulty sleeping (emotional issues), trouble adjusting to transitions such as aging, children as they reach adolescence, changes in relationships or work. If you are experiencing any of these issues, professional intervention is usually helpful. I have a great deal of experience with child development and parenting issues as well. At the risk of sounding like a dated Madonna song, we do live in a material world. As adults this effects our daily life but more importantly, it effects how our children are being raised and it is shaping the values of future generations. Our culture inherently supports the value of material items, especially for children. Go to McDonalds, get a toy, go to a birthday party and there is a treat bag full of goodies for you even though it’s not your birthday. Play on a game system that costs several hundred dollars using games that start at $30 each. Don’t forget that IPOD to listen to music but pay attention because there will be a newer, cooler model out in just a few months. So why is this a problem? Our children are happy and stimulated and some might say even enriched by these perks. Who wants to deprive their child of the best? Who wants to revisit the childhoods of generations past when there might have been poverty and not enough food? My concern is that the focus on material things creates a sense of entitlement for our children and creates a standard of living that they may not be prepared to perpetuate for themselves. I wonder how this effects the work ethic for children who have been taught that there are immediate rewards for everything that you do. It could send the message that there is little value to old things since there is always something new and little need to recycle. Finally, there is a psychological value to longing, to not getting what you want when you want it. This value includes developing the discipline to set long term goals, using creative thinking and problem solving skills to making the goal happen and finally the gratification of knowing that you accomplished the goal. American culture isn’t going to change any time soon but here are some ideas for things you can do at home to create some balance to combat the materialistic messages in society.Set an Example Be aware of the messages you send in your family about the importance of material goods. Are you trying to keep up with the neighbors? Is buying a big tag item a special occurance or an every day thing? Are you sending the message that how much “stuff” you have is important to you?Set Limits Teach your children the difference between privileges and needs. Have them contribute financially to items that are special so that they know how much they cost and feel like they have earned them. Don’t be afraid to say no, even if “everyone” has something.Model Gratitude Show your children that you appreciate what you have. Teach them about other countries or time periods that were less prosperous. Expect that your children be thankful when given something including requiring thank you notes. We are very fortunate to be living in a time and in a country of prosperity. It is important that we both show and teach our appreciation. The presents have been opened,we all feel 10 pounds of e xtra weight and we’ve spent time with family. Now that its January, and the whole year is ahead, I’d like to suggest that instead of the traditional New Year’s Resolutions, each of us take a look at our family situations and evaluate how they impact our life. The purpose of this reflection would be to determine if we are happy with the status quo or if we would like to make changes before next year’s holiday. In essence, I am suggesting something akin to tax planning. We all have to pay taxes. Can we analyze the last holiday season and determine if we paid too much or just the right amount. If it was too much, is there anything we can do to reduce next year’s payment? Parents For those of us who still have living parents, is it worthwhile to examine this relationship? When you are with your parents, do you feel like an adult or do you revert back to the roles of childhood? Are these old roles still useful or even relavent? Are you angry and hurt after spending time with your parents? Could this be because you are carrying old resentments and expectations of them? How likely are your parents to change? Unless they are highly motivated or insightful, people who have lived their live a certain way are unlikely to change no matter how much they love us. What can potentially change is how we view our relationship with our parents. Many things factor into our openness for change. Perhaps we realize that our parents’ health is declining. Maybe we consider the pain that our parents faced in their own lives and as we mature we can better understand how this might have impacted their world view. Finally maybe we get to a point in our life where we just try to forgive them and move on. If there is tension when spending time with parents, consider changing your view of them to reduce this tension, not for them but for you. This is difficult to do alone and may require the aid of an objective person like a therapist. Siblings Siblings share the same upbringing and often know us better and longer than any other person in our lives yet distance can be present both emotionally and geographically. Issues like birth order, perceived favoritism and simply differences in personality can contribute to this distance. When evaluating the sibling relationship it is useful to look at if you were ever close to each other and when this changed. How are you alike and different? If there has been a rivalry since you were both little, what were you competing for? Does this still matter to either of you? Often siblings unite as their parents age and they begin to parent their parents. If you have the opportunity to spend time with your sibling, try to get to know them as they are today. Often our perceptions of our siblings are as they were as children. Be open to the possibilty of discovereing a new friend in a sibling. Friends Just as we analyze our family relationships, so may you also analyze your friendships. At times when family bonds are tenuous, friends fill in the emotional gaps. Other times friends may disappoint for a variety of reasons. Now might be a good time to review your freindships. Are my friends good friends to me? What kind of a friend am I? Who might I like to get close to this year and how might I accomplish that? As you examine relationships in the post holiday season, consider if they are they are working for you. If so, keep up the good work. If not would you like for things to be different. Specifically what would you like to change and what would it cost to make that change. Consider being as intentional about your relationship planning as you are about your taxes. In the end, the payoff might be greater.
 
< Prev   Next >
[ Back ]

Questions About Counseling? 

Call Today for a Confidential, No-Obligation Conversation About Counseling.

(317) 572-5055

Search for Counseling and Therapy Services of Indiana

Sponsored Listings

Tell Your Friends About MHI

- Click Here To Recommend -

Latest Articles

feed image
You are here  :Home arrow Community arrow News arrow Why Another Parenting or Divorce Book?